batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize
