Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
