i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
