is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
You've changed since you got that strap on
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Randomize
