White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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