i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
Randomize
