all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
Randomize
