I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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