I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
