Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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