Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Randomize
