She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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