I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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