There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
