Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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