i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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