with your own penis?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
Randomize
