it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
