Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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