How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
