Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
