My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
we're so committed to being not committed
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
Randomize
