Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
