Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
