how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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