totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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