You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
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