she woke up with a sticky ear
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
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