chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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