so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
