Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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