If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
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