So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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