Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
Randomize
