just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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