can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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