I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
