I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
