in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
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