he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
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