How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
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