On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
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