wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
