I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
We need to rekindle our bromance
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
