do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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