i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
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