Are they still out there making out on the couch? How can we get them to leave?
I 'm gonna go stand naked in the kitchen with a knife
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
