I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
