I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
We need to feng shui this bitch.
Randomize
