Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
